Najah Khamasmie is a Syrian-German woman, a writer, and a motivator. After I arrived in Europe in 2012 with my husband and children over time, I have understood the difference between being a female and a society lady and being the master of my decisions and life in the world of numbers and choices. I love very much the combination of the warmth and passion of the East and the discipline and organization of the West. In my new identity, I find balance, confidence, and a renewed ability for consistent planning.
Around ten years ago, I started writing articles on social media, which I later compiled into two books, one of which was published in three languages. However, writing alone wasn’t enough during the time of COVID-19, as people in their isolation needed a voice and visual representation. Facial expressions and tone of voice can communicate ideas with more robust and more influential impressions. Encouraged by my family, especially my daughter, I began creating motivational videos.
The beginning wasn’t easy for someone used to writing silently, but in this change, I found a different presence and a new message. During my meetings and lectures with families in Europe, I noticed that dialogue between generations was often absent for various reasons. Therefore, my daughter wanted us to share our experience of intergenerational dialogue through a podcast, and although we’re still at the beginning, it has been a wonderful experience. I also consider it as documenting a different intellectual period with my daughter.
Who is a successful mother, and by what standards? Is it measured by achievements outside the home or within it? Is it evaluated based on income level or social status? Many questions!
But for me, a successful mother is one who finds reassurance and joy and manages to transmit them to her family. She can only reach that state by realizing her own potential. Only then can she support each family member to achieve their own self-fulfillment and happiness. She wouldn’t wait for any of them to accomplish what she couldn’t accomplish. She will also rejoice in their individuality and encourage them to be who they want to be.
As for my daughter, I always send her a consistent message: “Let your presence be strong and irreplaceable.” I don’t want her to expend her energies solely in the pursuit of equality but rather to discover her own strengths to prove her presence and make it effective and entrenched.
My experience with cancer resembles, to some extent, my experience of forced alienation, as if one suddenly feels they have lost everything in an instant! The difference between the two experiences is that during the migration experience, I hoped, in the early years, that time would pass quickly, following the principle of “time will pass”. But with cancer, I held on to life tenaciously. I no longer wanted time to “pass quickly” or in that way. Waking up in the morning became a reason to celebrate, as it meant I had survived and could live for an extra day.
In my current experience, I appreciate not giving up and have realized that God’s strength shines during our vulnerability. At one point during the treatment journey, I lost the ability to speak and walk, and the pain was intense. I didn’t try to appear strong; I simply focused on continuing and made God my source of strength.
My family members learned to be strong during my time of vulnerability. While we believe that our children learn and take strength from our strength, in fact, they learn strength and wisdom in our time of vulnerability, and I was experiencing the joy of seeing them mature lovingly. I also used to live a very healthy life out of fear of disease, but today I realized that fear is the disease itself! Human beings, by the grace of God, are able to accomplish things they cannot believe or imagine being able to.
I still live a healthy life without any “fear”, but with a sense of responsibility towards the blessing of health. Time has become sacred to me, there is no time for grief, negativity, and attention to gossip. It is a time of joy and the realization of what we must achieve.
First, I began to call things by their right names. In my opinion, there are “difficulties” and there are “obstacles.” Difficulties are those you face within yourself, such as laziness, hesitation, procrastination, forgetfulness, boredom, negative thoughts, stereotypes, and fear. You must confront and deal with these things seriously, decisively, and powerfully every day and every hour of your life. Work needs constant diligence.
Obstacles are negative words and destructive criticism from others, undervaluing your work no matter how good it is, simply because you’re a woman, lack of interaction, and so on. One should not engage with obstacles or confront them but rather ignore them and surpass them wisely, as surrendering to them will take a long time to get out of.
Therefore, I deal with difficulties with patience, strength, and positivity while ignoring obstacles to preserve my energy.
Learn from others and profit from their experiences, but do not compare yourself to them. There is no specific time, no age, and no circumstances to start; start with the small possibilities available at that moment, start.
Search within your strengths, and you will find your path. Do not underestimate what you possess, but be aware that everything given to you by God has a purpose and intention.
When you feel joy and reassurance, it means you are on the right path. Surrender is rejected, whether it is surrendering to the success of something and stopping there or surrendering to failure and not attempting again. We may fail in a certain task, but that does not mean we are failures, as God did not give us the spirit of failure.
There is no ordinary person; there is only a person who has not yet discovered their uniqueness. It’s good to love ourselves, but it’s optimal to love what is best for us. We need to ask ourselves, what do I want for myself to be better? How can I achieve that? And why do I want those things?
These questions redirect me whenever I deviate from my purpose and vision for myself. The person who has discovered their uniqueness no longer seeks appreciation and admiration from others; instead, they seek inner peace and satisfaction. We are all influenced by psychological and life factors that may change our opinions accordingly. Therefore, it is incorrect to measure my success based on the opinions of others. Instead, I should measure it based on the results of my actions.
Everything starts from within, as a person is driven by his thoughts. Let’s make our thoughts positive, motivational, and curious, seeking alternative solutions and innovative, effective approaches. Then we will assert our presence with gentleness and strength. The question remains, why do I want what I want? And here lies the uniqueness.
Before I talk about the future, I need to look at the past. In the past, all the professions I worked in were characterized by possessing the spirit of joy and beauty. I worked as a web designer and later in an agency importing wedding dresses and haute couture. All of these endeavors involved joy and beauty.
Today, I work in social media and writing, and I hope to achieve more joy and spread more beauty. We need a lot of real beauty in all aspects of life. I hope my first novel succeeds, as it is my first work of fiction after writing and publishing motivational articles. The future has always held many surprises for me, which may initially appear as endings but are actually beautiful and powerful beginnings, thanks to God’s blessings. So, I feel that the future is waiting for me and surprising me, and I surprise it in return. I don’t have long-term plans. After displacement, illness, and significant material and spiritual losses, I have prioritized living with joy and hope.
My main goal is to continue with joy and hope. Like a small spring coming from the mountains, it may change its course due to a large rock or a cliff, but it continues, leaving a beautiful refreshing trail wherever it passes.
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